Thanks, Dan. I finally found a reference picture with an ak-47 pointing at me, and I have revised my sketches.
Here are few more pages, and I have few questions about them.
First question before you read anything: Would you be coming to the meeting tomorrow?
If the answer is no, please do respond to the questions below. If the answer is yes, don't worry about putting up crits; critting in person would be more efficient.
Act 6 pg 7
Question: The second panel on top is supposed to be Congo shooting the gun, but I'm not sure that it translates to him "shooting." I thought maybe we could move his hand down and have "BANG" written on. Or maybe I should change it to just the gun barrel with a spark.
About the unsketched...
1. The panel below that is left roughly sketched because I'm not sure who the girls in the background are supposed to be.
2. The bottom right panel, I drew them too big; I'll work on it.
Act 6 pg 8
Question: The boat angle on the very first top panel--not sure if it's reading well as the end of the boat.
About the unsketched...
1. Again, wasn't sure about the people.
Act 9 pg 13
We condensed 2 pgs into this one page. I'm wondering whether people in the background should be silhouetted. I drew some in the middle panel, but maybe I'm not sure if that fits with the "dramatic moment" (the uncle says something touching like "Malika things very highly of you" <--I personall think this dialogue should be changed to something more touching).
Awesome work, Jin! Dang you are speedy! Loving the chaotic shooting scenes. The only thing I would say is to make the guy's mouth (the one shouting "Njeme, shoot!") a bit smaller so it's a little less anime-ish. But otherwise, well done.
ReplyDeleteThanks! What about the silhouette thing?
ReplyDelete