The Stanford Graphic Novel Project 2009

A play about the DRC

2010-05-24T15:20:00.000-07:00

Happily, no one reads this anymore so it doesn't really matter what I write, right?

I went to see this play tonight: Ruined by Lynn Nottage. It's set in the DRC in a brothel amid the civil war, the rebel forces, violence, rape, violation of the women and the land, and a whole lot of precious dashed dreams.

Naturally it made me think of this project and this group of people. Are you guys still as invested in the DRC as I am?

http://www.almeida.co.uk/production_details/production_details.aspx?code=91

The play was held together by some really strong performances, and had a really interesting, almost optimistic ending that I didn't know what to make of. I felt throughout that it couldn't possibly end any other way than in continued ruin, destruction and trauma. But it was oddly sweet and hopeful...(After the horror)

It made me think about the inherent colonial experience any western person has when engaging with stories from Africa, and more specifically the DRC. Can I ever rise above the tragedy and accept simple beauties in the situation (of this play, or of the DRC for that matter)? Is it allowed to end on a note of romance (not to spoil the ending too much for you)? Indeed, would it be inhuman to prohibit this narrative craving that we commonly accept in stories about western characters--and everything is solved at the end because they will try to heal their wounds and move on-- ?

If we were still in the midst of that graphic novel project, I would ask the same question of our project. Though it all went by so quickly, I can't even remember how we ended it, to be honest. It's a shame you're not all around to continue the discussion.

Save Gorillas with your iphone

2010-05-18T02:08:00.001-07:00

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/africa/8687434.stm

iPhone app to help DR Congo mountain gorillas
Baby gorilla in Virunga National Park (file photo courtesy of Gorilla.cd)
About 211 of the great apes are estimated to be living in the park

A mobile phone application has been launched to help protect the critically endangered mountain gorillas in the Democratic Republic of Congo.

The app, called iGorilla, allows users of iPhones and iPads to follow the lives of gorilla families in the remote forests of the Virunga National Park.

Each app costs $4 (£3), with most of the money going to the park.

The mountain gorilla population has been reduced by poaching, civil conflict, deforestation and disease.

But conservation work is helping to secure the remaining 720 animals, with an estimated 211 of the great apes living in the park.

The new app, launched by the Virunga National Park, allows users to choose a gorilla family, find out about individual members and follow their lives through reports, photographs and videos.

The park straddles the Democratic Republic of Congo, Rwanda and Uganda, covering 7,800 sq km (3,000 sq miles).

It was declared a Unesco World Heritage Site in 1979.

Dan Archer's Blowin Up

2009-10-20T01:46:00.001-07:00

This is somehow turning into the Dan Archer blog. Luckily, no one's reading it anymore.

Here he is on BoingBoing.

Dan Archer Works the Room at APE

2009-10-19T01:17:00.000-07:00

Our our Dan Archer at Alternative Press Expo--spreading the word for the Center for Comics Studies and for Virunga.

Look Who's Reading VIRUNGA!

2009-10-09T12:31:00.000-07:00

My Daughter Justice Everlasting!

Act 5 pages 13-14 (almost done!)

2009-07-06T22:03:00.000-07:00

Note to Sylvia:

Here are the pages for you to reference the women. There's the down trodden bar maid(black scarf and beauty mark), an unhappy woman with boyfriend talking om the phone (striped scarf & black shirt), and then a happy woman with good boyfriend (decorated scarf and hoop earrings). Hope they help!

Thumbs for Act 5 Pages 12-14

2009-06-30T23:25:00.000-07:00

Here are the three pages of thumbnails for the pages in chapter 5 before Esther gets the markers from the old artist--pages which Dan drew. I hope these are clear enough. For any questions, call me on my cel 415 990-3869

More crits

2009-06-26T17:26:00.000-07:00

Hi Jin,
Apologies for the delay. Jodie's been really ill so we've been in Vaden and the ER the last few days/last night and I've just got back from Summer Camp teaching. I'll post the thumbs on Sun if you haven't thought of a workaround by then. Meantime, here's my thoughts on your blog pages:1. Angle A's gun forward for more alertness and 2.Pull the silhouette of the foregrounded soliders down to make the tree seem bigger.

The Aymar Shooting Pages

2009-06-25T20:50:00.001-07:00

Thanks, Dan, for your input. I believe you told me in your email you'd put up a thumbnail for pgs 22-24 and I'd like to know how it's going!

Here are Act 7 pages 21 and 25, and I need some help.

1. On page 21, I want the tree to look big and at a distance. I drew the rebel in the background to give an idea of scale, but I don't know if the tree looks big & far enough. Let me know what I can do to make that happen!

2. On the top third panel on page 25. Aymar is holding his gun, with his back to us. I'm not sure that you can tell that he's holding a gun, because I think technically the gun will be covered by his arm.

Jin's Act 9 pg 13

2009-06-25T00:21:00.000-07:00

Thanks for the comment on the cover!
Here's what I did with the crowd scene, Dan. I hope this works!

Dan's Cover 2 cents

2009-06-24T21:17:00.001-07:00

Virunga Cover Drafts

2009-06-24T00:20:00.000-07:00

The first draft looked too much like Shakegirl, so I changed the background to orange (the top one is most recent draft and the bottom is the first draft). I'm not sure about Malika in the middle. I don't think it shows her drawing. I think we may need a different illustration of Malika. Thanks for all your coments so far, and I hope to see more comments to help me make the cover look good!

Belated Crits for Jin

2009-06-21T22:30:00.001-07:00

Hey Jin,
apologies for the delay - here are my amendments to the pages you posted, which look fantastic.
One way around the trigger/shooting problem here is to just enlarge and tweak the first shot - I've pasted it in below, given a feeling of simultaneity as the shot rings out on the two vertically adjacent panel (nice Berlin-esque motif thumbnailers). If you're going to use sound, I'd add it in the top panel where there's more room, and as a sort of conjunction to the sequence - that way the reader will have a better idea of the order to read these 4 panels in.

You've gone for a 2 pt perspective shot here, but just remember to account for the foreshortening of the shooters as well as the boat - the reaosn it looks a little uneasy at the moment is that they're drawn side on, profile view, and the boat's drawn from above. Also, Sylvia's comment about the mouth is spot on - remember it should be the width of the gap between the pupils.

Another excellent page - I'd stick to the silhouette plan as you mentioned, but just make sure that none of the back or foreground image is crowding the speech balloon in the 3rd panel - pull his hair in, as well as the bags being carried by the nondescript passers-by. Including the detail in the middle tier sets up the alienation of her lone figure in stark contrast against the black in the final panel.

Hope these comments weren't too late!

Jin's Pages: Act 6 and Act 9

2009-06-15T23:21:00.000-07:00

Thanks, Dan. I finally found a reference picture with an ak-47 pointing at me, and I have revised my sketches.

Here are few more pages, and I have few questions about them.

First question before you read anything: Would you be coming to the meeting tomorrow?

If the answer is no, please do respond to the questions below. If the answer is yes, don't worry about putting up crits; critting in person would be more efficient.

Act 6 pg 7

Question: The second panel on top is supposed to be Congo shooting the gun, but I'm not sure that it translates to him "shooting." I thought maybe we could move his hand down and have "BANG" written on. Or maybe I should change it to just the gun barrel with a spark.

About the unsketched...

1. The panel below that is left roughly sketched because I'm not sure who the girls in the background are supposed to be.

2. The bottom right panel, I drew them too big; I'll work on it.

Act 6 pg 8

Question: The boat angle on the very first top panel--not sure if it's reading well as the end of the boat.

About the unsketched...

1. Again, wasn't sure about the people.

Act 9 pg 13

We condensed 2 pgs into this one page. I'm wondering whether people in the background should be silhouetted. I drew some in the middle panel, but maybe I'm not sure if that fits with the "dramatic moment" (the uncle says something touching like "Malika things very highly of you" <--I personall think this dialogue should be changed to something more touching).

Jin's Crits

2009-06-15T18:52:00.000-07:00

Here you go Jin, great work as ever - I'll post additional comments if need be later but for now the red should speak for itself.

Act 9 and Act 5 pages

2009-06-12T18:35:00.000-07:00

Here are Act 9 pg 12, Act 5 pgs 7-8.

I need some help with the gun angle on Act 5 pg 8, Dan! What does it look like when an ak 47 is pointing directly at me?

Act 3 pg 17, Act 5 pg 6

2009-05-27T12:40:00.000-07:00

Sorry it's been a while! I'll be posting up more pages!!

On Act 3 pg 17, the very bottom left panel is supposed to be a duplicate of the panel next to it. I'll be using lightbox to make them match.

act 9, p.6,7,8

2009-05-26T17:26:00.000-07:00

Act 7 Page 1, 7, 8 pencils

2009-05-25T19:46:00.000-07:00

Further crits

2009-05-15T06:10:00.000-07:00

Another excellent page, Christine:
1.Add more of E's side profile in panel 1 to give her more solidity as well as shoulder detail/epaulette and breast pocket
2.Add more angles to the feet in panel 2 for movement
3.Bear in mind the perspective here - at the moment, the heads are drawn higher than the house, which would work if they were on a hillside, but that would need to be shown to clarify it in the eye of the reader. So I've extended the relative perspective line from the head of the person by the entrance to show you where the newly lowered head placement should be.
4. Same with the feet here - remember, keep things relative. If 2 people are walking side by side, there won't be that much differentiation between their respective body placements, regardless of size.
5. You've drawn the back of E's head flat here, putting the reader at her eye level, meaning you have to raise up all characters in frame to that same eye level.

Nice work here Jamie: I especially like the Laika-esque close up middle tier. I think I've seen this page before in class - just remember to:
1. move Nkunda in panel 3 so he's more central and doesn't run off the panel. I've added the 3 silhouettes to give more of a relative sense of how close everyone is.
2. In panel 7, I've made E's expression more angry - she seemed too happy to me in the original - by squinting her eyes and tipping her eyebrow downwards. Also bear in mind she's drawn in profile, so her shoulder should be perpendicular, not flat on.
3.For panels 7 and 8, remember that the middle of the eyes should be the same height as either side of the mouth - I've dropped guidelines down so you can tweak it (I've done a cut and paste job in photoshop).

Helen - p.17 looks good to go - Albert and I will add some spot blacks in photoshop, otherwise it's a great-looking page. And it looks like the same page came through twice, so please repost the one after it. Thanks!

Act 7 p 17 and 18 inked

2009-05-14T20:11:00.001-07:00

I couldn't think of anything to do for the mountains. I just ended up whiting out what I did.

Crit free or die

2009-05-14T13:18:00.000-07:00

Excellent work here, guys - keep those pencilled pages coming. We've landed in blustery Vermont/New Hampshire and are running out the door so I'll post the rest of the crits first thing in the morning. For the time being, checkout the cover and post your comments.

Not much to crit here Christine, nice work - just:
1.show the break for the running feet in panel 1 more, as well as the shadows.
2.Scooch the speech balloons over in the last panel as shown - that way it improves the flow from the balloon in the previous panel.

I've added the tree here to give it a more dynamic sense of fore, mid and background - the space in the original sketch seemed to overwhelm the rest of the composition. The tree also works well as a divider along the spine - and I thought would work with a different background (either the rebel or refugee camp). I've also added generic silhouetted plants on the back to give the characters more of a sense of mise en scene.

I've critted all the other panels on this page before, so I'll stick to the last panel, where the challenge is to shift the vanishing point so that the view of looking up from the ground is the same for the feet as it is for the chair. That's why it looks a little off at the moment. Plus the soldiers will need repositioning as shown.

Main points here are:
1. Pull berets down on the right hand side of the characters' faces.
2. Make the male characters shoulders' broader.
3.Make ears the same height as noses, tapering in towards the chin at the bottom.
4.I've shifted the placement of the hands in panel 3 down to make it more dynamic (so it doesn't jar with the top of the panel as much)
5.Pull cheekbones in on Nkunda.

Bravo! Onwards!

act 8 pages 12, 13

2009-05-12T15:35:00.000-07:00

Act 8, 12-13 penciled, kind of lq. So, on a scale from Okay to Do it over again...?

Jamie's Updates- Act II

2009-05-12T14:17:00.000-07:00

here is my current progress:
I turned in page 15 yesterday.

page 16 is done, except for the panel that needs to be re-drawn.

page 17 is being inked,

page 18 is almost done, and needs to be critiqued.

sample cover

2009-05-06T18:25:00.000-07:00

It's in 2 pieces: back cover and front cover. The back cover's top foliage should be a continuation of the front cover's, right across the spine (see the back cover page). Don't worry about writing "Virunga" or the "stanford graphic novel" etc, or filling in the dark areas (because that top foliage will be a dark green or black). I wasn't sure what to have Kongo or Esther doing...so I made it up. Hope it works. I have Kongo holding Malika's drawing-- and Malika herself holding a drawing on the front page.

Front: Behind Esther on the front cover are silhouette gorillas, three of them, to her left. This balanced out the page. For the foliage, do any silhouette of jungle leaves and trees you like. It should look like overhanging leaves. Feel free to fix the foreground bushes the way you like them. Also, please put a white line with white out around Esther and Malika to make them pop out (ask Dan about this if you need to). I had Esther offering a pen (we never decided exactly what they'd be doing, just that she and M would be together with M drawing)

On the back cover: Njembe, random soldier, Nkunda, Kongo, Pascal, Aymar. You know the back cover of Laika? It's a takeoff of that. I also made little footprints in the mud like Laika, and feel free to fix those up. You can give them all bigger shadows for dramatic effect. On the back, leave a large text box inside the foliage.

THANKS! :-) please ask me if you have any questions.

Helen and Christine's Crits II

2009-05-02T16:23:00.000-07:00

Good work, Helen - your figures and faces have really come on in the last few pages, excellent progress. I'd pull the horizon down in panel 2 to reflect the fact that Aymar's kneeling to speak to Kongo - plus if you bring the trees in closer to them it'll add more intimacy/drama to the scene.
Pull the speech balloon tail right so it doesn't converge with the tree in panel 5. Lastly, move the balloons in the last panel to the top and shift the rest of the panorama down.

Excellent modifications here - just spot in the black as shown using the soon to be patented Congo foliage effect (tm): black at the bottom, then suggest lines on top (also distinguishes Esther's height from M's).

Spot the blacks as shown - though thinking about it, all you need to do is drawn in the backgrounds on panels 3, 4 and 6 - production can drop solid blacks into the rest.
Onward!

act 3 14-15 ink

2009-05-02T11:26:00.000-07:00

I drew these pictures and then I used a lot of whiteout. So I was hoping it wouldn't show up too much, but if the quality is kind of bad, I can touch it up again.

Also, the scanner did something weird with p. 14, but there are proper borders on the sides and beneath the top third.

Critiques?

Act 7 p 17

2009-04-28T19:26:00.001-07:00

So I uh also did this

-Helen

Helen and Christine's Crits

2009-04-28T15:40:00.000-07:00

Helen this looks great - just think about breaking up the white areas more - I've added black behind the fast fading Kongo as well as the silhouette of the forest to give it more of a claustrophobic feel. It also makes the speech balloon pop and more legible in the 4th panel.

Seeing as I've got some space here, check out these guys: hotly-tipped Congolese paraplegic street musicians destined for musical greatness in 2009, according to the Guardian:
http://www.myspace.com/staffbendabilili

Another excellent couple of pages Christine - in answer to your text question, you can merge two panels together if there's not much physical difference between the two (character placement, movement etc) and the emphasis is more on the conversation.
That's what I've done in panel 5 - emphasizing Esther's interruption as well as leaving the excellent pauses in panels 3 and 6.

One minor correction I would make is to soften Malika's shoulders - they wouldn't be so broad given that a. she's a child and b. she's a girl.

As for the notebook, I'd make it more clearly held by adding the hand in at the bottom and bringing the speech balloon to the top, thus linking the balloons in panel 4 to 5 horizontally and giving the reader the chance to scan the sketchbook page. It also gives you extra room to underline the pages and the fact that we're looking at a sketchbook. Ink should be fine here - perhaps use a thicker/thinner pen size than the rest of the page so that we can tell it's different printed matter (I wouldn't use the brush for that reason).

Hope that helps - keep it up!

act 3, 14-15

2009-04-25T17:29:00.000-07:00

Hi guys, pages 14 and 15! They are in a sort of awkwardly unfinished state but I was hoping for some help+critiquing anyway...

Mostly I'm having some trouble fitting text into some of the panels. And backgrounds. And, how should I do the notebook drawings? Ink as usual?

Act 7 P 16

2009-04-23T18:02:00.000-07:00

Now with 45% less white out!

-Helen

Bios

2009-04-22T12:53:00.000-07:00

Corey Nash Ahnangnatoguk is a sophomore from Point Hope, AK studying film.

Cristopher Bautista worked on Shake Girl, last year’s graphic novel project and was masochistic enough that he came back for more. He’s a boy now, but he still likes ramen and pink helmets. And he’s a sophomore trying to get away with an English major in comic studies. Wish him luck.

This is Emily Bookstein’s first time contributing to a graphic novel, but as the sketch-filled margins of her chemistry notes reveal, it won’t be her last. To the Esthers, Kongos, and Malikas: with words and pictures, we conveyed a story. Your real stories are not finished. Let us work together for a happier ending.

Adam Cole is from Oregon. When he is not working with the outrageously creative members of Team Thumbnail he studies mussel beards at Hopkins Marine Station and unsuccessfully attempts to shred the mandolin.

Eric Giddings is an artist from Portland, Maine majoring in sociology.

Catherine Harrell is a Human Biology major from North Carolina. She loves drawing cartoons and is planning to study interactive media. Someday she will have a wildly successful career in high-tech design, but she plans to continue drawing in every minute of her free time.

Helen Higuera was born and raised in Annapolis, Maryland. She enjoys watching youtube videos of cats and eating nachos. She’s been a lover of comics and graphic novels since reading Calvin and Hobbes as a child and is super psyched to be a part of this project.

Joy Henry hails from a tiny town in Florida. She enjoys saying absurd things and laughing at life. She most certainly owes anything she's ever done to her parents and their outstanding example of love.

Albert Lai has always enjoyed reading since youth, reluctantly famous for gently bumping into walls, nose in a book, during elementary school. His involvement with the graphic novel class is merely an extension of his belief in the power of narrative, and he hopes to continue writing in the future.

Sylvia Nguyen is a co-terminal Masters student in Sociology and part of the awesome illustrator team. As this is her fifth and last year at Stanford she is incredibly thankful to have played her part as a dutiful cog in this creative machine and sends out a toast to everyone who made this possible...including the gorillas.

Rebecca Orr is a sophomore majoring in English. Known for her practicality, she aspires to make a living writing words and baking cookies. She came to this graphic novel project looking for inspiration and hoping to change the world. She leaves it humbled by the genius and dedication of her peers, and reassured that writers, illustrators, and teachers positively encourage change.

Shelly Ronen studied psychology and feminist studies and considers herself a social artist. Shelly only recently discovered graphic novels, but has fallen for them. Shelly loves creative minds, cooperative living and collaboration. Shelly hopes to continue to write, teach and above all, learn.

Elizabeth Sanders is a sophomore majoring in Art – Studio and English – Creative Writing, and is overjoyed to be part of a project that incorporate both her passions for visual art and the written word. She is originally from Richmond, CA, and loves bookbinding, mural making, rock climbing, and cheese eating.

Sara Sisun is an oil painter, amateur writer, aerial circus performer, and avid yogi. Sara is a Senior at Stanford University where she is studying Studio Art and Creative Writing. As TA, Sara was inspired by the work of this year's graphic novel class!

Jamie Solomon is proud to be from the East Bay. She has been drawing her whole life because she enjoys the process of creation and the sense of escape it gives her. She also loves acting, fish, things that are purple, and having too many stuffed animals.

Rhean Westerlund is a senior from Hawai’i studying creative writing. Besides writing fiction, poetry, screenplays, and creative non-fiction, she enjoys being outdoors and indulging in good books (like this one), new places, social dance, and the culinary arts. She is in awe of the talents of her fellow team members.

Jin Yu is from Korea and has been crashing at various host families’ for 8 years prior to Stanford. She is a huge fan of manhwa, manga, anime, MMORPG, and recently, graphic novels. Aspirations include becoming an incredible artist (preferably in game industry) with limitless creativity and undying fame. Someday.

Dan Archer is a cartoonist and teacher with a focus on non-fiction comics. His self-published anthologies, Archcomix, have been distributed across the US and UK and are available to browse or order from his website, archcomix.com. He received his MFA in cartooning from the Center for Cartoon Studies in Vermont and his work has been published by Bash magazine, The Other Side Magazine, Memoir (and) Literary Journal, Penguin Books, Atlantic, and Random House. He teaches graphic novel writing at Stanford University, 826 Valencia and various schools in the Bay Area.

Adam Johnson is a Senior Jones Lecturer in creative writing at Stanford University. His fiction has appeared in Esquire, Harper's, Tin House and Best American Short Stories. He is the author of Emporium, a short story collection, and the novel Parasites Like Us, which won a California Book Award.

Tom Kealey is the author of the Creative Writing Handbook. His work has appeared in Story Quarterly, Glimmer Train, Best American NonRequired, Poets and Writers and the Alaska Quarterly Review. He received his MFA at the University of Massachusetts where he was the recipient of the Distinguished Teaching Award. He teaches creative writing at Stanford University, Google and 826 Valencia.

Crit for Joy

2009-04-21T15:11:00.001-07:00

Hey Joy I was hoping I could crit these in person last night but seeing as I won't see you til Friday now I'll post your pages here. First, excellent work. The main thing you need to look at is head positioning - heads sit forward on the neck, slightly over the upper torso, not dead straight on the spine. I've illustrated a rudimentary head placement diagram in the first panel's speech balloon. So where I've redded, please go in and scooch the heads forward a little - the pose in the first panel should keep the head in line with the rest of the spine. I've annotated the occasional missing epaulette and pocket too. Panel 5 - the ear would be seen from behind, so i've tweaked that, and panel 6 - remember eyes should sit further apart, with the mouth on the 3rd rung down if you split the lower face into 4 equidistant lines. Basically, keep it close to the nose. It might help you to sketch a rough central line through the face before you add features in. I'll put the next page up later.

Corey - that page looks fine, although I'd still cut back the spot black on the sleeve in the first panel. Aside from that, it's ready for scanning. Good work!

2009-04-20T20:07:00.000-07:00

anything i missed?

Act 7 pages 4 & 5 ready for crits

2009-04-18T22:49:00.001-07:00

Whatchu got Dan??

Crit Crit Hooray

2009-04-16T11:45:00.000-07:00

Lovely stuff - Corey, your page is looking good, but just remember to stick to the 'house style' - that means a clean line, with no scratchiness/texture to it. We need to try to keep things consistent, so don't shade or hatch shadows in, just use solid blacks, and remember to suggest folds or textures with a few shorter lines. Also, I've paired down E's pupils and removed the lines under her eyes in panel 3 and shortened the width of the lips in panels 3, 7 and 8. Ignore my comment about the background in the last panel - it would jar too heavily with the previous panel if you put one in where the speech balloons were. Almost there!

Christine, welcome again and well done on setting the bar so high for your first pages! As you'll learn from the veteran illustrators here, my favourite phrases is 'spot the blacks' - meaning to lay down areas of black on the page to guide the reader's eye through the panels. Consistent areas of black are under chins, berets and epaulettes (the shoulder straps), as well as on the foliage. Remember with the water that if the boat's moving through it, the water should be pulled in that direction. Plus I've suggested the reflection of the bush in the 4th panel.

This is a wonderful page - just keep the background imagery consistent between panels 2 and 3, and add a layer of hatch to the background foliage so that we get a sense of depth in the panel - there's too much white space in there at the moment. See above for my comment about the water in panel 4. Keep up the good work!

Act 6 page 1

2009-04-15T18:58:00.001-07:00

Inking - it is hard. Help me?

-Helen

act 2, 5-6

2009-04-14T09:11:00.000-07:00

Well hello, I drew a couple of unhappy faces; hope yours aren't. Act 6 p. 5 (pencil) and 6 (ink)

Ready for crits, I think

act 2 page 19 i think

2009-04-13T20:29:00.001-07:00

the scanner was pretty rough again this time

Dan Archer II: This time, it's personal

2009-04-03T21:59:00.000-07:00

Dan returned. And there was much rejoicing.

Lovin' Spoonful

2009-04-03T15:54:00.000-07:00

Oops, missed a page:
No, that's not a goatee on Malika in panel 1 - just a photoshopped mouth that's been reduced down a bit. Plus in panel 5 there's a rough guide to the 2 head rule I mentioned in the early post. And some tantalizing heat coming off the spoon. Good work!

Post break Crit

2009-04-03T11:34:00.000-07:00

Hi all,
After a brief hiatus I have to say that you've gone from strength to strength - these pages are stronger than ever, and some of the gestures are just beautiful - the cameraman's arm, the turning whilst kneeling to hand M paper, I could go on (but I won't). All the red is pretty self-explanatory - main thing I see recurring is keeping characters broad enough (remember that roughly you should be thinking 2 heads wide for an adult, and a little less for M).
Any qs, just comment on this post. And if you want to see my strip in progress (no ninjas this time round), I've just put the first page up on my website www.archcomix.com. End of gratuitous plug. Keep it up!

Act 4, 4+5

2009-03-31T21:21:00.001-07:00

crit it up

Act III p. 22, 23, Act IV p. 2, 3 (Sylvia)

2009-03-30T14:29:00.000-07:00

Ready for critiques!

Act III p. 22
still need to add the cover of the comic (couldn't find it on the blog)

Act III p. 23:
Am I making her cartoons in a particular stylized manner?
Should I make the drawings more child-like?

Act IV p. 2:
Sorry didn't have the Pitt pen with me to do the panel borders and captions.
The birds in #1 will be black...
Act IV page 3:
Still need to add the "Rrrrrr" sounds in ink to Panels 3 and 4.
Panel 5 will be lightboxed and I'll add Malika.

Inks for Act 2, p 6, 7 and Act 3, p 1, 2, 3

2009-03-18T14:14:00.000-07:00

Act 2, Page 6 (revised to add ranger hut details):

Act 2, Page 7 (revised to add ranger hut details):

Act 3, page 1:

Act 3, page 2:

Act 3, page 3:

PS

2009-03-15T07:54:00.000-07:00

Not forgetting Corey's, which I'd just move the right hand down as shown, and resize a few of the heads. Plus a suggestion for panel 5's blacks. Good work!

Do you take this crit...

2009-03-15T07:45:00.000-07:00

Hi All,
Seeing as I'm literally only 2 hours away from walking down the aisle I'll have to keep these quick: more just a point of spotting blacks (my favourite) than anything else. Adam, I'd split the tree trunk with a gutter in the night/day transition of the tent, which I think would work really well, and Jin I'd add loads more crates to fill the space in the foreground of the rebel camp, showing assorted rebels unpacking the merchandise too. Best of luck everyone - I'm off to get hitched! Be back online in a week!

Act 2, 11+12

2009-03-13T00:05:00.001-07:00

Act 2 11,12 - scanner did somethin' weird, so the blacks go grey in places, but no worries

Act II pg 23, 24, 25 & Act III pg 6

2009-03-12T14:33:00.000-07:00

1. Last panel on Act II pg 23 is to be light boxed.

2. I have some trouble with Act II pg 25. The description for the bleed goes :
"There are a few tent canopies, the kind that provide shade but don’t have sides. Everywhere are stacks of crates. They read: Medcins sans frontiers, Unicef, Product of Champagne, Explosives, and there’s even a crate that reads Virunga National Park Supply. There are stacks of stereos and old French Colonial furniture. Nkunda himself sits on an elaborate chair" How and where could I put these items? Suggestions?

act 3 page 8

2009-03-12T01:11:00.000-07:00

Act 3 page 8!

Thanks Dan! :-)

Critical Mass

2009-03-11T09:26:00.000-07:00

I've said it once, and I'll say it again - you guys are doing brilliantly! But you knew that, of course. Apologies for the random spacing of my comments - line breaks seem to add themselves in as the blog posts make their way over the Atlantic. I'll probably be only able to crit until early Saturday morning your time just to give everyone a last heads-up.

1. Great stuff here Emily - just pull the blackness around the binocular POV in the 2nd tier so it's not converging with the panel border (you could remove the gutter between the panels, or else get Liz to scooch it smaller in photoshop afterwards)

2.Pull the river under the footbridge as shown to give a sense of depth. Plus add shadow underneath it and follow the craggy rocks with it. Perhaps sprinkle in some more foliage around the rebel camp too - or at least cut down tree trunks/forest details.

3. I've spun Esther and Kongo around here for the sake of the old right to left progression, but think you'll need to add a sense of Aymar climbing down from the tree trunk to make the last panel work.

1. Again, I'd spin this panel around - either lightbox it, or leave a message to Liz to do it in photoshop afterwards.

2.Panel 5 - Aymar's head should be more turned to give the sense he's addressing Esther

3. Panel 6 - shift Aymar's body so that he looks like he's compensating for the weight of Esther that he's pulling up - at the moment, she's probably pull him over the edge!

4. Lengthen Kongo's body here - I've drawn in perspective guidelines from Esther's feet to give you a rough idea.

1. Straighten the machete - or at least the top edge (ie the non bladed bit) and turn Esther's body into more of a <>

2. As a rule, I'd make her expression angrier in this scene - she's reflecting on Nkunda's comment about women and is likely to be pretty irritated, taking it out on the foliage in front of her - so angle those eyebrows and make her face sterner in panel 4

3. Panel 5 - i'd draw the blade lower in the panel - as a rule, you shoud avoid showing the moment of impact as it drains the force out of the movement by making it look static. So if you add the blade after it's sliced through the bamboo, with bits flying everywhere, it'll look more dramatic.

4. Speaking of drama, the caption here is about her "wandering in the jungle, alone" - so i'd pull the angle out to a long shot and add more foliage to heighten the sense of her isolation

5. I'd make this more of a worm's eye view shot, and as the caption mentions 'the worst sight he can imagine' I'd make it a really threatening posture - though I'm not sure here if Adam meant to make the silhouette intentionally androgynous looking to evoke the memory of Esther's aggressors in the act she's describing in the monologue.

1. Continuity error - she's holding the machete in her right hand in the previous page.

2. Again, as E's reliving the horror of her own ordeal, I'd make the pictures all the more violent as if her cutting the foliage is cathartic - hence the moment to moment transition panels 2 to 3. and the fact that her posture in 3 should be more dynamic and less perfectly straight on (plus that deliberate staging makes me think she's being looked at by someone in the same scene)
4.Panel 4 - swap machete hands around

5. Panel 5 - have E drop her machete in shock at seeing the bird, which works with the next page where she suddenly has an empty right hand in the 2nd panel.

6.tip the bird's head towards her as if it's directly addressing her in panel 7. Plus it adds a nice transition from the previous panel, which is the side on silhouette.

1. Great 1st panel - but bend her right arm the other way more.

2. Bring her right hand over her face and enlarge it to show it's being foreshortened (or foreheightened, if that's even a word).

3. In the last panel, I'd add a hint of Esther and bring the speech balloons horizontal - somehow before my eye went from E in the first panel to the speech balloons in the last panel because the white space was similar in the 2 adjacent panels.

1. Panel 2 - make this more of a bird's eye view (no pun) and add in E's shadow to make her look smaller

2. Split the speech balloons for the 2 sentences here:"i have good memories too" and "I miss my husband"

3. Flip panel 7 around for the left-right progression

4. I see what the thumbers wanted for the circular panel, but I think rounded edges would be more effective here: because they better evoke a photograph and because they fit with the grid structure of the page (the circle went down below the standard live area). Remember to remove all lines/wrinkles on E's face in that last panel to hint at the fact she's younger.

1.Split the speech balloon here

2.Angle the wings up more dramatically, and echo the edge of the feathers with the foliage from the tree

3.You'll need to add the bird's legs and tail too - it's trunk (no pun again) looks to long without

4.Add more of a sense of cutting through waist high foliage

5.Last panel - pull Kongo's shoulder in and up a bit.

1. Give more prominence to the side pocket on E's trousers in panel 3, and bring M's head in a touch.

2.Echo panel 3 here more, so that we can see E reaching for and pulling out the field book from the same pocket. You'll need to pull E and M's bodies up a little so they're not going off the panel.

3. Remember the fieldbook has previously fitted in E's trouser pocket, so shrink it down here - and remember to keep M holding her drawing pad as it's behind the fieldbook

inked page for dan

2009-03-11T06:26:00.001-07:00

hey dan, anything i should change for this page? at this point i am a certified whiteout technician so be as ruthless as possible.

emily's penciled pages: act 2 page 13, 14

2009-03-10T17:45:00.001-07:00

page 13

page 14

Pencils for Act 3, page 1, 2, 3, 10

2009-03-09T19:55:00.001-07:00

Page 1:

Page 2:

Page 3:

Page 10:

I still have to draw the "gorilla noses" in the margins of page 10...haha I'm looking forward to it. But the rest of it is done and ready for critique.

Act III, page 4, 5 (Sylvia)

2009-03-09T19:35:00.001-07:00

Page 4: I messed up the bottom right panel border so that will be fixed in inking. Thanks Dan!

Page 5: Any suggestions for how to make the flashback panel more dramatic? I was thinking to have a soft black blur background. I'm also inking her traditional dress in a bright pattern so that will be coming soon...

Sketch for Act III Pg 6: Problem Solved!

2009-03-09T12:08:00.000-07:00

[Edited March 10, Never mind this post!]

Hm. For me, Pascal's "my face is on fire" is a bit too abrupt.
I feel like there should be some dialogue or panel to explain why all of the sudden he wants to say his face is on fire. Let me know what you think!

the first transatlantic post

2009-03-08T18:13:00.000-07:00

Hi all,
It's late here so I'll keep this quick. First note to illustrators - please spot all of your blacks on your pencils before you post them - that way you won't have to post them again once you've inked them. Also, the pages I haven't reposted here don't need crits as I've seen and critted them already in class and they look grand! Catherine, can you repost the hut interior page once you've added in that detail you mentioned?

1. Only minor comments for this page as I've already seen it - just bring the pocket in front of the arm in panel 3 as it's closer to the reader. Also, perhaps add shadow under the gesticulating hand.

1. If you're going to only put these two in panel 1 (without Nkunda's henchmen or background detail, then I'd black the background in. That also gives the last bigger panel more impact.

2. I'm guessing at the blacks in the last, and have added the background black foliage (a sure-fire compositional winner by now) to push the characters forward and give us a sense of relative size.

3. Bend Nkunda's leg - it seems too straight at the moment, as well as too central in relation to his torso.

4. Bring the right hand henchmen down a little so his head doesn't converge with the panel border.

1. Bring the right hand henchmen's waist down a bit - his legs look too long to me. Plus the left hand one (who I know is a child soldier) needs to be standing in on the same level as Nkunda and the other one.

2. In panel 2, I'd turn the head to give more of a sense that they're exchanging looks.

3. Otherwise, awesome - great layout thumbnailers, spot on execution Jin

1. Shorten the speech balloon tail - it only has to point to the speaker.

2. For an establishing shot like this, give us more of a sense of the light - is that the sun in the top right? If so, add shade to the backs of the trees/tent.

3.For the foregrounded leaves dripping dew (great detail), overlap them with the trees to really push them in front of everything.

4. I'd change the height of the background foliage, as shown.

5. If panel 4 is a continuation of panel 3, give us more of a hint - show us the hammock, or the silhouette of the 3. Something to link the two panels visually.

6. Speech balloon missing here? If not, we need to establish the action of the 2 brushing their teeth since they're not doing it in the previous panel - it's too big a leap otherwise.

1. Add more detail to the face in the foreground here - suggestion of eyelash and ear, as well as beret would be enough. Not to mention the epaulette (shoulder strap).

2. At the moment, the first panel looks great, but the focus is off a little - I think the torso of the okapi needs to be in the middle, with the various pieces all adjacent to it (see tail example) and close to their original location on the body. That's why I thinkn the coat needs to be above the main trunk, plus seen from the side view - like it's just been pulled off it. At the moment, I think the vertical shot of the coat next to the profile shot of the body looks a little odd.

Keep up the good work guys!

Act 2, 11-12 sketches

2009-03-06T19:19:00.000-08:00

Here's pages Act2:11-12- my first sketches- contrast is a little wonky.

Reference images for rebel camp

2009-03-06T11:25:00.000-08:00

Tough call, but if you're looking for clues and inspiration as to what the rebel camp might look like,
here are some links:

Anyway,
There aren't any specifically rebel camp reference images, but I can include an interveiw with Nkunda that might give a hint into what it might look like:
"Laurent Nkunda Part 1" video:
http://video.google.com/videosearch?hl=en&client=firefox-a&rls=org.mozilla:en-US:official&hs=7W0&q=drc%20nkunda&um=1&ie=UTF-8&sa=N&tab=wv#q=drc+nkunda+interview&hl=en&emb=0

Here's some more
http://washingtonbureau.typepad.com/nairobi/images/2008/11/11/congo.jpg

Our convoy, hours before getting stuck en route to meeting Nkunda

image taken from: http://washingtonbureau.typepad.com/nairobi/2008/11/index.html

This is a picture of Nkunda, with some guess as to what it might look like-- hut, round? grassy, buildings.
http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3348/3226419882_9b0d0cd31f.jpg

Another interview that takes place on his turf, I think:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EsWqjnmpHPI

Inks for Act 2, p 1, 6, 7

2009-03-05T16:48:00.001-08:00

page 1:

The Photoshop crew will add the "UNESCO Lot #" and "Product of Spain" text to the side of the cardboard...I'll make a note of this before giving it layout on Monday.

page 6:

I'm planning to add more details to the ranger cabin as well, now that Jin's lovely inks are up.

page 7:

Some more pencils coming soon too,

Inked: Act 2 pg 2-5 Sketched: Act 2 pg 23-24

2009-03-05T10:41:00.000-08:00

So here are the inked pages.
The missing panels, I will take care of when I get the light box.

I'm penciling in pg 23-25 now, and I'm in a need of good rebel camp reference. Let me know if there are any references thumbnailers were using.

Pg 23 & 24 is sketched at the end, and I'm wondering if it's possible to make the very bottom panel of pg 24 a full bleed. What do you think?

*On pg 23, a panel is left blank b/c it is similar to the panel above.

[Edited March 08: Just so people know; I'm penciling pg 6 & 7 on Act III. I left my camera somewhere, so I'll be bringing in more sketches on Monday.]

Act I pages 31,32,33, 14 (Sylvia)

2009-03-03T00:23:00.000-08:00

Here are my finished inks:

And on p. 14 I have to fix the captions so that explains the weird lines.

page 22 almost done

2009-03-02T10:10:00.001-08:00

but corey and i need to coordinate cameras. i wasn't sure what dan was telling me with the beret, and the esther in the bottom left needs to be moved up.

act 1 page 26 for crit

2009-03-02T07:53:00.000-08:00

have at it again!

act 1 page 25 for crit

2009-03-02T02:33:00.000-08:00

sorry, it didn't scan that well but, have at it!

Pascal- The Friendly Rookie (Sylvia)

2009-03-02T02:06:00.001-08:00

Here is a close up of Pascal. I haven't had time to do the turnarounds but he has a lean build, is slightly shorter than Kongo, wears a (rookie) cap instead of a beret, has thin-rimmed glasses, friendly eyes, thick eyebrows (that are often raised to give him a friendlier appeal), wide nostrils, and full lips.

The key here are the glasses and cap which will distinguish him from the rest of the rangers.

Act I Page 15 (Sylvia)

2009-03-02T00:11:00.000-08:00

The first panel is left blank intentionally because Dan wants to reorganize the thumbnail. Also, I'm not sure what the script is for the captions so the sizes need to be refined.

Alright, onward to Pascal's turnarounds!

Crit Avalanche

2009-03-01T23:27:00.000-08:00

Can all illustrators please check out the following two links: the first is how a beret is worn on the head, the second, a good simplification of an AK47. I'm gonna keep the critiques short as they are so many of them, plus in most cases the red should speak for itself - I'll edit the last few pages tomorrow morning but wanted to get the crits up tonight for those burning the midnight oil who can't wait til tomorrow. I'll never get tired of saying it, but GREAT WORK! Everyone's artwork is clearly getting done faster, slicker and more professional. One minor aside is speech balloon hierarchy, which I'll talk a little about tomorrow.

1. Only thing here is the worm's eye view perspective with the tree - pull the trunk so it's not a similar width to M's head. Great layout, well executed.

1. Good work Jamie, just spot the blacks/reds as shown here - I've scaled back the helicopter shadow, but it is still important. Plus the black for the foliage will make M stick out...much like the last panel here, in answer to your compositional connundrum.

1. I'd add some interior into the hut to establish more of a link between panels one and two.
2. The window here should be a bit lower - see my guidelines. Also, draw more attention to the objects that you then focus on in the aspect shots afterwards to visually preempt them.
3. Plus be aware of the 7.5 head rule for bodies - the guy standing up would be taller in proportion, and I actually prefer him with his eyes out of the panel.
4.Use the steam from the kettle to draw us into the panel
5. Add a reflection in the machete of the guys around the table - an appropriate visual metaphor for the men's lives being framed by violence.

1. Watch out for the speech balloons and berets (see link above).
2. The jump to the rhino in the last tier is too harsh - perhaps add a finger so we get the sense it's a smuggler eyeing up the merchandise?

1. Hierarchy of speech balloons! If the balloon's all the way across the panel, like in the first, you don't the get temporal lapse between 1 and 2 and they seem simultaneous.
2. Also be aware that the second bubble should overlap the first like a vocal interruption (panel 4).
3. I'll talk to you in class about the map panel, which is a real challenge but is looking good - just needs a tweak.

Same hierarchy issue here with the speech balloons - plus I need tighter pencils for the first 2 tiers - remember, these pages should look like final artwork minus the black brushstrokes.

Pet/Mascot

2009-03-01T20:08:00.000-08:00

Could we please get one of these to help us with the completion of the project?
Ok so I don't really mean it, but I want one.

I got this from the website: http://www.monstersandcritics.com/news/africa/features/article_1440577.php/In_photos_Democratic_Republic_of_Congo_Unrest?page=14

and the blurb says:
A Congolese soldier holds a pet baby monkey in Kibati displacement camp,12kms from the provincial capital of Goma, in the Democratic Republic of the Congo, on 02 November 2008. Tutsi-led rebels tightened their hold on newly seized swaths of eastern Congo which has once again seen tens of thousands of frightened civilians hitting the road into and out of makeshift refugee camps throughout the east of the country. EPA/STEPHEN MORRISON

Inks for page 27, 28

2009-03-01T17:21:00.000-08:00

Page 27:

Page 28:

Parts of Act 1 page 14 (Sylvia)

2009-03-01T17:11:00.001-08:00

My camera was taken away so I had to use my macbook's low quality camera. I took pictures of panels of Page 14 so you can piece it together.

Top portion:

Malika runs into Okapi!

Full page (or as much as I could get):

13, 21 (act I)

2009-03-01T15:57:00.001-08:00

page 13 is done- crit?

1) can you see her running in the last panel? how do i make that more clear?

2) do i need to add background foliage to the helicopter panel?

page 21- done except for last panel which you haven't looked at yet. everything else is done. do i need to color in her boots?

Reference images for act 4

2009-03-01T14:36:00.001-08:00

In case you're having difficulty imagining the refugee camp act.
Here are some videos I used as inspiration

Refugee camps:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vh4Kbg6J4Ak

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fuT6DIp8MPM

images from camps, images of inside tents, people running away, a boy carrying a bag with the strap over his head, a guy named Pascal!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cCzF_xB5Ylo

Images of Dancing:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EgDBvtl5PkM&feature=related

Images of rebels, people, refugees:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sXZUdg7710A&feature=related

Hats?

2009-03-01T13:16:00.000-08:00

What do you guys think? Should we have the characters ALWAYS wearing their characteristic hats? please respond via comments
Little Adam

Pencils for 7, 8

2009-03-01T12:57:00.001-08:00

Page 7:

Page 8:

As I mentioned in the email, page 7 is only partially complete, because I had some questions for the thumbnailer. But please feel free to critique what you can.

For page 8, the berets might be removed as well.

Jin's Sketches pg 2-5 Act 2 [Edited 5:40pm 3/01]

2009-03-01T12:36:00.001-08:00

Just so that Dan doesn't have to search all over the blog, I'm putting all the images together in this post. I tried to stand away so I don't cast a shadow on the pictures, but you can still see the shadow :P Sorry.

Few things:

pg 3: I edited the rhino panel. Instead of adding the dotted lines, I thought I'd show a panel with a rhino brutally hacked for horn. I was shocked after finding out how poachers obtained the horn. It's really horrible. I thought I'd show it to the readers. What do you think?

I also received reference photo from Corey, so I'll change the sketch of the camera accordingly.

About the beret... the table here is kind of small to include the berets. Any suggestions?

----------------------Previous Message---------------------------

The hats are off! And there are more stuff on the hut wall.
I'm still working on pg 5; I'll post it up later today.
I couldn't get the Ace Anime font to print. I guess we'll work on the speech space with the lettering guide on Monday.

On page 4, I have a blank panel--it's because that panel is a repeat of the previous panel with minor tweak; I'll do this on light box after inking the previous panel.

Hey Illustrators!!

2009-03-01T11:24:00.000-08:00

Just want to apologize for any continued confusion with the thumbnails. I realized that some of the thumbnailers names have been cropped out of the scanned images, so you have no reference person. After Act 2, these names should appear at the top of the page, but if you have any trouble, email me (cadamole@gmail.com).

We're also going to try and be clear about references to props- for example, if a truck, or a camera, or some kind of animal appears on two pages, we'll add a note that says "See page 24, Act 1 for reference".

At the same time, I'd strongly encourage all the illustrators to READ THE ENTIRE SCRIPT if you haven't already. First off, it's just well done. I for one can't wait to see what happens next.

Second, I think reading the script will really inform your drawings, whether it helps you decide the specific blend of bitterness and hope on Aymar's face, or tells you why Esther needs to be wearing a knapsack. You should all have a copy of Act I, and from now on you should be getting your thumbnails in a document called THUMBMASTER, that has the whole script portioned out beside each page. It shouldn't take that long to read through the whole thing, and I think it will really help.

LOOKS GREAT EVERYONE!!!!

PS. While I'm posting, just want to throw a shout out to LAYOUT: On page 9 there wasn't room left for captions, but there are a lot of captions on this page so I just wanted to make sure they don't get left behind.

RAINBOW!! I just discovered we can change the size and color of texts in these post?! Wild! But who has that kind of time...

Act I, Page 31 and 32 (Sylvia)

2009-02-28T21:27:00.000-08:00

On page 31 I forgot to add in Pascal's face so I will do that. Dan, do you have any suggestions on how to make Pascal unique?

Sketch of page 2-4 of Act2

2009-02-28T20:12:00.001-08:00

I've been trying to identify who worked on the thumbnail for page 2 of act 2, but no one replied to the emails. So here are some questions I had:

1. What kind of huts are the rangers living in? I didn't see these huts when I was researching. Let me know if anyone has reference pictures. I just kinda made up some huts.

2. Throughout pages 3-5, from the thumbnails it looks like the order of people sitting goes like this: Aymar, Esther, Kongo. (from left to right). On thumbnail for pg 2, however, Kongo sits between Aymar and Esther. Should I switch it so that it goes Aymar, Esther, Kongo? Or is it vital that Kongo sits between them?

3. What kind of camera is Aymar looking at? It'd be helpful for me to know how big it is.

4. The guy standing with clip board is the new guy, Pascal, correct?

5. The thumbnail for page 5 act 2 says "no hat." I drew hats on all the sketches on previous pages. Is there a reason behind no hats? [EDIT: Oh, and I drew the hats in pencil, so it's no big deal if we decide to have them off, but we'll have to let other illustrators know]

Oh, and I added the dialogue just so that we know about how much room there needs to be and what kind of expressions characters should have. I don't know if that's the right size though; I just did it on gmip (open sourceware that works like photoshop) really quickly and used anime ace size 12, which may be different from the printed size 12.

Picture Reference for Pascal

2009-02-28T19:24:00.000-08:00

Illustrators,

Here's a good looking ranger I found from the gorilla.cd blog that we can now use for Pascal. We were throwing around the idea of putting glasses on him to try to distinguish him from all the other male rangers but no one on the ranger team has glasses so we may need to decide on something else.

I'm thinking of putting a cap on him instead of a beret since we've already blurred the beret/cap lines and gave The Rebel a beret. But as long as the rangers are wearing their plain uniform and rebels wear camouflage then I think readers will be able to differentiate. Anybody disagree with the cap idea?

Crits ahoy

2009-02-27T19:24:00.000-08:00

Another general note to the illustrators - now that the pdf of final art has been posted, look at the pages before (and after) yours! Consistency is crucial - whether it's the foliage in the background, the type of uniform, or the weapons. One thing that's stood out is berets:
1. They're divided by a line roughly through the middle, hatched on the underside
2. They flop down onto one side of the head - they do not sit on top.

On another note, make sure you all rough in the speech balloons! At the pencils stage you should all be working with the script, looking at how it breaks down, sentence by sentence, and changing the shape of your bubbles accordingly. This not only is crucial for composition, but will affect legibility and of course my suggestions on how to fill the space around them.

1. To answer your foliage question, Sylvia, take a look at what Jin did for p.18 - split the foliage into a spot blacked bottom (about Malika's shoulder height) and a higher, plain layer (about Aymar's eye level). This not only spots a black in, but gives us a relative size guide from panel to panel.

2. That aside, the only thing here is Aymar's shoulder in panel 4, which is too low - see my annotation.

3. Love the silhouette too - great decision, well executed. Just scooch them up a little (Or I/You/Liz can do this in photoshop - I'll show you/her on Monday).

1. Use picture reference on the gun here - I think the rebels' weapon of choice is the AK47, which has a black barrel, a two tiered chamber and a curly magazine. Also remember if it's being pointed, then the strap would be taut - and it would cast a shadow along the chest of its bearer.
2. Ears should be the same height on the face as the nose, depending on the angle of the head. I've pencilled in lines as a guide.
3. Speech balloons in panel 2 - see my note above, but the long and short of it is please include them! They obviously inform a lot of the decisions you made in the panel layout. Speaking of which, if you're putting foliage at the foreground, it needs to be detailed - we need to see leaves etc (as in p1) as they're the closest thing to us.
4. Foliage issue is the same as Sylvia's - see note above and remember consistency above all.
5. Remember shadows under necks, and that berets flop in a specific direction.

1. I've said it once and I'll say it again - speech balloons!
2. Spot blacks under rolled up shirt sleeves, necks, pockets.
3. Ears in panel one should be facing more outward - see my sketch.
4.Careful with the berets - see note at the top of this post.
5. Panel 3 here looks suspiciously similar to panel 2 on the previous page - maybe mix it up by showing the gorilla not looking directly at us - maybe forraging, looking down, scratching its shoulder, etc
6. Foliage as per the previous page, Sylvia's page - you get the idea.
7. Careful with Esther's posture in the last panel - and please include the speech balloons!

8. Above all, great work - keep it coming!

Pencil Act I, Page 33 (Sylvia)

2009-02-27T18:17:00.000-08:00

On the top panel: 1) Should I spot black the leafy foliage in the foreground?
2) Should I add spot-black tree trunks behind the bush layer in the background?

Bottom bleed panel: I plan to spot black the leaves, the shadow where her shirt and pants meet, and the shadow on the ground.
1) Did I capture the forshortening of the footprint right?

23 & 24 Pencil

2009-02-26T23:55:00.000-08:00

On the last panel I was having trouble drawing her body.

page 19 (Sylvia)

2009-02-26T23:08:00.000-08:00

Here's page 19. I am especially satisfied with my Frank Miller style panel of Nkunda, if I do say so myself! (Thanks for the illustration reference, Jin :)

Any advice on which panels should be spotted black on photoshop? I am anti-white backgrounds...

New Crits

2009-02-25T21:24:00.000-08:00

One general rule to illustrators - all pencils posted should be tight (ie only the lines you will be inking on top of). Inking should be primarily for varying lineweight and spotting blacks, not adding lines that aren't there. In some cases, foliage is just sketched in, or faces very roughly marked - these need to be more finalised before you post them, which will save you having them critted once they've been inked (which I'm thinking we'll have to dispense with as we move into the final stages of the project). Also, if you're spotting in a large area of black, just mark an 'x' instead of pencilling it all in - not only will it mean you have loads to erase post inking, but also that the ink won't take as well to the paper with a layer of graphite all over it.

Panel 1. Extend the speech bubble to the corner - the less it seems like the bubble is blocking out the background from both sides (like there's an actual bubble in the scenery) the better. Add more solid, definite shadows to draw our eye to M and E. Also shorten M's torso.
Panel 2. Twist M's ear a little - it looks too side on at the moment. Add shadow under the neck, and a touch more hair on the right.
Panel 3. Flop the beret onto one side - berets sit on the top of the head and go one definite way - not both.Add more head shadow.
Panel 4. Speech balloon, ears (!) and neck shadow.
Panel 5 - who's speaking? Add some shadow black to pull our eye in and give us a better sense of scene - you can get away with sparse or no b'ground in panels with just one character, but not two from a medium shot like here.
Panel 6. Tweak the collar - it would be going the other way. I assume there's a caption, given the white space at the top of the panel.
Panel 7 - pull the bottom right camera in front, so that the focus is always on the gorillas in the viewfinder, not the buttons on the camera (which are fiddly to draw anyway). All minor stuff!
Panel 1. I added some heavy duty spot blacks here, to add a sense of claustrophobia/tension, as well as preempt the imminent darkness (going from light to dark so quickly will make it look like more of a lunar eclipse).
Panels 2-4 - add a thumb to solve your hand on the shoulders problem. Add increase the hatch into panel 4 as shown.
Panel 5 - add the eye (I assume that's the bird's head, bottom right) so we've got more to transition to in the next panel
Panel 6 - more detail on the branch please, but not too much hatching. Also, see above for my comment on pencilling in large areas of black.

To solve the eye reflection quandary here, add a blob of white over the reflection so we know the eye's the focus of the picture, as well as token other dash on the underside as shown. Also lower the level of detail into the red so the eye remains on top of the reflection, as it were. Hope that helps!

Good work everyone, keep it up!

Pencils for 27, 28, 1

2009-02-25T17:05:00.000-08:00

Act I, Page 27:

Act I, Page 28:

Act II, Page 1:

A few specific questions:

Page 27: I think the way Esther is gripping Malika's shoulder's looks kind of strange. Any suggestions for how to fix it?

Page 28: Esther and Malika are supposed to be reflected in the eye of the bird. Do you have any tips for making the eye look like an eye (moisture, glistening)?

p 22 pencil

2009-02-25T10:22:00.000-08:00

page 22 penciling is done.

Crit for Jin

2009-02-24T22:37:00.000-08:00

Hey Jin, not much to add here - and especially not for 17, which is perfect, bar the margin/lightbox issue that we'll sort out on Monday. For 18, a couple of suggestions - shadow in the first panel which will make Malika pop out more, as well as the suggestion of a sketch on her paper (and an errant squiggle which you can happily ignore).
Panel 3, I would bring his shirt down a little over the belt so it doesn't seem flat on as much, and panel 4 and 5 feel free to choose whether or not to spot some black in there - or Liz could do it in photoshop later on to save time.Panel 6 - bring his hair down a bit so it comes around the nape of his neck more, and last panel - remember to hatch the underside of his beret. All very minor tweaks. Keep up the great work!

Page 20 - pre-rolled sleeves (Sylvia)

2009-02-24T21:13:00.000-08:00

Here's page 20 w/o rolled up sleeves. I will fix them and bring it in tomorrow for scanning. The other page is on the way.

Ready for Crit & New Pages

2009-02-24T17:32:00.001-08:00

I messed up on the margins of these two pages, so I'll use photoshop to fix them. There are panels missing on pg 17. I'm saving them for Dan to show his amazing tricks using light box.

Congolese Comics

2009-02-23T00:01:00.000-08:00

2009-02-22T16:05:00.001-08:00

Check this out- look at that sheen- another starling picture, but I'm not sure if the red-eyed variety is found in Western Africa.

2009-02-22T15:56:00.001-08:00

Here's the masked weaver-bird I was thinking of. It's more flashy than the Koel, but there is the black around the eyes that makes for nice contrast. There's some nice symbolic potential with both the "masked" and home-weaving aspects of this bird. Also, I think the Koel is an Asian bird.

More Red-eyed birds

2009-02-22T14:29:00.000-08:00

The turacos are beautiful, and I wonder if they're just too lovely to designate as a repository of personal pain. The black birds with red eyes seem perhaps like better candidates to fill with personal trauma! I couldn't find a red-eyed weaver online. But the common Koel seemed a candidate. It doesn't matter to me. Just some references for illustrators. Also, just out of interest, here are a couple bird eyes from a taxidermy supplier, and finally, notice the black-bellied Starling, whose eyes turn from yellow to red under stress.

Found our red-eyed bird!

2009-02-21T18:53:00.001-08:00

The Greeen Turaco is indigenous to the DRC and Uganda. The Congo also has a Black-billed Turaco and Red-crested Turaco (but it has a red crest and not red around the eyes), so writers you get your pick!

Green Turaco

Black-Billed Turaco

Red-crested Turaco

Macaranga "ant plant" references for chapter 3

2009-02-21T15:18:00.000-08:00

Leaves and stems for the Macaranga plant, which has a symbiotic relationship with the acrobat ant (crematogaster decacrema.) The tiny ants swarm anyone who comes in contact with the macaranga's foliage. Poor Pascal. The ants, should they be drawn, are identified by their heart shaped abdomens.

Encore de crits

2009-02-19T10:38:00.000-08:00

Few suggestions here:
1. spot in some more background in panel 1, as well as on gma's headscarf to keep it consistent with Jin's and stand her out from the tents.
2. Kongo. Add a bit of shadow at his feet and white out around his head (or we can photoshop it - just leave a note for the production team in pencil in the right margin) so he stands out.
3. Add some shadow at his feet
4.make his head smaller in panel 4 as per the red
5. shadows aplenty in panel 6, plus remember M's only got 5 hair dreads now
6. bit more foliage in the last panel to make the speech balloons pop.

1. angle his jaw a little more so his face isn't face on - to get the perspective of M looking up at him, plus make his left hand a little smaller
2. shadow around the boots
3.scooch the torso in panel 4 in a bit, and the forearm out a bit to convey the hand on hip posture
4. move his head down away from under the speech balloon
5. move the tail arond the balloon (panel 6) so it's not so near his head. Maybe add in M's drawing board too
6. remember military jackets meet in the middle - this looks a little like a double breasted jacket to me.

1. I've roughed in some very basic spot blacks for the gorillas panels 1-3
2.I'd keep some sense of spotted blacks for the gorillas in the background for 3-6. PLUS i've copied and pasted your drawing from 6 into 4 and 5 (and same with 7 and 8) - for panels with minimal movement change, we can lightbox them, so best leave these panels for now. This is part of the shortcut processes I'll be talking about on Monday.
Looking good!

An Illustrator's Guide to the Congo

2009-02-18T23:50:00.001-08:00

For existing and transitioning illustrators,

To keep us all on the same page here are the characters and styles we have agreed upon:

STYLE:

Panel borders: Use Faber-Castell PITT artist pen B and your handy T-square
Figure outlines: Use brush and Higgins ink, vary your line width to create volume
Smaller details: Use the microns
Speech bubbles: Use Micron 03 and keep line width the same
Use spot blacks under chins, armpits, where clothing ends (cuffs, shirt hems, collars); break up continuous white with luscious black!
Faces: minimal hatching; focus on bringing out facial features to denote ethnicity
Hair: messy stippling with brush and ink; leave white spots at top of head for lighting, and darken to black near the nape of the neck and sideburns.
Background/foliage: Don't do every leaf, just minimal contouring with leaf details in the foreground. Spot black all shadows and break up different planes. (see Dan's scans of the comic "Bone")

CHARACTERS

Malika: 11 years old, skinny and feisty. She wears a plain tank top and a skirt with a upside-down triangular patterned trim along the hem. She has 5 braids/dreads that extend from her hair with one that crosses over her face. Draw these asymmetrically.

Grandma: wrinkly, bony, severe-looking face. You don't want to mess with this granny! Black head scarf, skinny build, saggy bosom, shirt, and skirt wrap. (see Jin's panels)

Ranger Uniforms: beret, shirts with insignia on both shoulders, breast pockets, muddy boots

Kongo: over 30, rounder face and build, wrinkles around eyes, bushy and stern eyebrows (see character line ups), looser clothing

Esther: early 20s, defined cheek bones, young features but with eyes that detail her dark past; wears a small head scarf under her beret and small hoop earrings; has a belt over her shirt uniform to accentuate her womanly figure (see character line ups)

Aymar: questionable age (looks over 30 but is 25), vertical scar across lip and nose, severe/piercing eyes, bony jaw structure, closely cropped hair, slightly hunched posture, beret, strict ranger uniform (see Sylvia's character close up)

Malika's Mom: rounder face and bosom, stern but motherly. Wears headscarf and patterned skirt (see Catherine's turnaround)

Malika's Uncle: white hair and beard, wrinkled but kind eyes, tattered collared shirt with stains (see Adam's panels and Sylvia's character close up)

Nkunda's rebels: caps instead of berets, camouflage uniforms, rolled up sleeves, cigarette smoking, always carrying guns

Njembe: 12 years old, in Nkunda's camouflage rebel gear, young face, dejected expressions trying to make him look old (see Sylvia's turnaround for boy soldier)

The Rebel: sketchy eyes, watch on right wrist, flashy belt, facial hair, wears a beret and camouflage uniform with rolled up sleeves

Mai Mai militia: rag tag, old sports jerseys, sneakers, gun carrying, tattered clothes

Refugees: old clothing, tattered t-shirts, dirty/stained

Gorillas: textured feathering using brush and micron pens, strategic spot blacks to denote fur/hair (don't black out everything!) (see Jamie's gorillas)

Good luck and happy illustrating!

Page 17-18 Sketch

2009-02-18T23:48:00.001-08:00

So Dan, here are few issues with the sketches:

1. On pg 17, I have two different instances where I draw the same character in almost same position three times. (Tier 2 & 3) I'm wondering if it'd be ok to ink one of the panels, copy it, and cut out the copied one to stick on the next panel and tweak it a little bit to match the situation. (Kind of like how you "cheated" on your comic).

2. About the rebel's hands: I don't know if he should be pointing at Malika's drawing. He's going to say "What are you working on?" or something like that, and it's kind of weird to me that he should be pointing. So I didn't draw the pointing hand on pg 17 (despite your instruction). So on pg 18, maybe the hand should just hang by his side and not jutting out as if he's asking her for something.

3. Malika is supposed to be standing at some point in pg 18. I tried to make her posture in the first panel look like she's about to get up, and by the end of the page, she is standing next to the rebel (and now we're able to see both of their heads in the same panel). Does this work?

4. What time is it? I was drawing the watch on pg 18 and I didn't know where to put the watch hands.

Page 5 Pencil, Pages 3-4 Ink

2009-02-18T15:05:00.000-08:00